Thursday's Truffle is...Short Fiction!

The Afghan 

 

fiction 

C. Ellington Hill 

Charlotte’s crocheted afghans were deadly.  No, she didn’t soak them in some exotic poison that killed on contact, nor did she infect them with a murderous microbe. She didn’t know what it was, at the mechanistic level.  She just knew that if she was in the right (or some would say, wrong) frame of mind while her fingers looped and knotted the yarn, the recipient of the finished product didn’t have long to live.  Of course, she only had two instances to go by.  This one would be the telltale throw. 

Third time will prove the curse works, she told herself as she worked on the lovely dove gray wool intended as a gift for the chairwoman of the Millville Zoning Board of Adjustment, Josie Pignatelli. 

That witch with a capital B will never see it coming.  I’m sure I sweet-talked her enough after that disastrous meeting.  But she should know she can’t ruin people’s neighborhoods without consequences.  Oh, yes, there will be consequences. 

The hard part would be getting her to accept the afghan.  Charlotte pondered exactly how to word the gift card while her fingers flew, propelled by the rage in her heart. 

How dare she grant that variance?  Can’t she see that Zimmer Estates will be the end of the neighborhood?  All those lovely trees across the street will be gone, replaced by a hundred-twenty identical houses jammed together with only a narrow strip of lawn between.  Why do they build them so close together?  Oh, the noise!  Dogs barking at midnight.  Horrible children with their bikes and basketballs all over the place.  And the comings and goings all hours of the day and night.  Intolerable! 

But the deed was done.  The variance had been granted thanks to the chairwoman’s tie-breaking vote, and the development would proceed.  Charlotte could already hear the racket of heavy earth-moving equipment.  There was nothing left to do but exact her revenge. 

I’ll probably have to move before it all drives me crazy.  But I just can’t right now. 

Her little bungalow was too comfy to leave.  Mixed hollyhocks grew tall and colorful in the beds out front, with purple clematis climbing the columns beside the front door.  Pink floribunda roses graced a rectangular bed along the right-hand rail fence, and deep red ones along the left.  Behind her brown, shake-shingled house grew her herb and vegetable garden.  After twenty-five years, the annually composted soil had ripened until it was so rich she could count on a bountiful crop every year. 

No, they’re not going to make this old gray head leave town.  She emphasized her resolve with a little nod, then released the yarn to straighten her stiff fingers and pat a stray wisp of hair back into place.  She knew she looked the part of a sweet old grandmother to those who knew her casually. 

People take advantage of my good nature, she told herself often.  That’s why one must always speak up.  And if that doesn’t stop them, well, then it’s time to get even. 

This credo had guided her through more than seventy years of struggles and injustices.  She had achieved vengeance in many ways, some big, some small.  Those horrid little girls who had given her daughter so much grief in middle school found themselves subjected to intense parental scrutiny and strict curfews.  She had simply made a couple of anonymous phone calls to their mothers reporting improper behavior with boys behind the Sweet Shoppe.  And that teacher, Mr. Wilson, who dared to give her son a failing grade.   Well, all that took was a call from the payphone outside the Community Pharmacy.  The police had been very interested to hear about his alleged improper behavior with young girls behind the Boys’ and Girls’ Clubhouse. 

As far as Charlotte could tell, no one had ever suspected her of planting the false rumors.  She didn’t look the part. 

* * * 

The gray afghan was done, just in time for the next monthly Zoning Board meeting.  Charlotte lightly steamed it, pushing and patting the lacy wool into a neat rectangle, and folded it into a white tissue-lined box.  Next, she penned a note to be inserted between the tissue and the afghan.  She’d given much thought to the wording. 

My dear Mrs. Pignatelli, 

      It is my sincerest wish that you accept this token of the esteem in which I hold you, and further, that you grant me the favor of forgiving any unintentional rudeness in my remarks to the Board last month.  Your long hours of service to the community have had great effect, and I know many people neglect to offer you their appreciation. 

     Please accept this gift in the spirit with which it is given and may it grant you and your family warmth in the coming cold months. 

Sincerely, 

Charlotte Bert 

    

Oh, she loved the hidden meanings, especially the reference to cold months.  Winter was at least three months away, but if the afghan curse worked, soon there would be bitter cold in the Pignatelli household. 

*** 

Charlotte had her proof in only two weeks.  The Daily Sentinel headlined the obituary: 

JOSEPHINA PIGNATELLI, 42, CIVIC LEADER 

Josephina Pignatelli, aged 42, departed this world suddenly on Sunday, September 2nd.  She is survived by her husband, Salvatore, and her son Joseph, three brothers... 

Charlotte didn’t care about Mrs. Pignatelli’s relatives nor the lengthy enumeration of her civic involvement.  And she certainly wasn’t interested in attending the viewing and the graveside service.  She had all the information she needed.  The afghan worked. 

She settled back in her chintz-covered chair and raised her feet onto the matching ottoman.  The cat stretched and shifted position in order to keep up with the rectangle of late summer sun crossing the carpet.  The newspaper drifted from her lap to the floor while she considered her success. 

She felt no qualms, no remorse, not even a twinge of regret.  That woman had ruined her life and it was only fair that she had paid a heavy price.   

She reached into her yarn basket and selected a lovely crimson wool for the background of her next project. 

* * * 

The wind had a sharp bite as it swept the fallen leaves from the gutter into a dust-devil wannabe, yanking loose hairs from the bun at the nape of her neck and whipping them into Charlotte’s eyes.  She had to lean hard to shut the sturdy front door against the bluster.   

The mail was mostly campaign flyers, scarcely worth the trip to the mailbox.  Everything about the upcoming election enraged her.  A cursory glance confirmed the same old political drivel.  When would they ever change? 

“Well,” she told the cat, “they can’t do anything to affect the outcome anyway.  I’m taking care of it today.” 

She tossed the junk mail into the recycle bin then returned to the task she’d interrupted in order to collect the mail. 

In her best flowing Parker penmanship, she addressed the label for the parcel. 

Mr. President 

The White House 

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW 

Washington, D.C. 20500 

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C. Ellington Hill was raised in New Jersey and educated at Rutgers, where she studied biological anthropology.  She has two grown sons, two grandsons, and six rescued cats.  After teaching biology and anthropology courses, working as a legal secretary, as an analyst in contract management, and as an avid knitter and gardener, she is now looking for success as a writer of science fiction and "weird" short stories.

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May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  Please visit our link,

Warning Signs of Brain Cancer 
that Survivors Want You to Know

At our sponsor site: GBM4cure

Thank you for visiting!  We'd love to start this mini-mag up again someday, and comments and submissions are always welcome.  Our contributors write for us at no charge.  If you like them, please pay them a visit!  If you have questions or a submission, email gbm4cure@gmail.com.

Tuesday's Truffle is...Something Completely Different!

Fan Fiction is considered the red-headed stepchild of "real writing" by most readers and authors.  However, it can be a lot of fun, and some of it is very nicely done.  Not only that, but fans who organize to do costuming and participate in conventions do a lot of cancer charity work.  Here, for those of you into Star Wars, is a well written short tale contributed by Kathryn Olsen.

No One Could Survive

They say that, as clones, we do not possess a conscience. We are not capable of it.

They say that any soul that we possessed was left behind in the original host and we inherited nothing more than a perfectly matched set of genes and a perfect dispensability.

It is true that we were produced from that host because they assumed that the chemical tendencies that produced his cunning would be exploited in the course of training so that we would be just as susceptible to the urges that drive a man to kill.

They do not understand that while chemicals determine some things, circumstances force us to determine the rest.

I am clone 1,030,111, affectionately nicknamed Lieutenant Deadeye by General Kenobi. I have served with him for three years and the circumstances have forced me to develop my uncanny sense of aim, my unquestioning diligence in battle, but something else as well.

I have learned that even a man who is not supposed to have a soul can learn loyalty.

Unfortunately, my diligence must apply to all my orders. I obey Order 12, which gives me the mandate to scout an enemy position. I obey Order 74, which requires me to take command of my platoon.

There are one hundred seven orders to date, carefully studied and memorized on lonely battlefields over the years that this war has already taken.

Only three have never been given. Order 45 gives authorization to arrest a member of the Senatorial community. Order 91 is what we would use to instate martial law.

Order 66 implies a casual betrayal that I am not sure I could carry out.

It is one that I wish I could ignore, but every time I see a Jedi lead us into danger, I wonder if the time will come when I will have to burn him down. My brothers in arms laugh at the way I flinch whenever General Kenobi is in our field of fire.

Other than Commander Cody, it is unlikely that he has a more stalwart supporter than Deadeye.

We are here on Utapau, not by choice, but by heartless necessity. We've never signed treaties with these people or set up a garrison, but we are here for their protection as much as our own.

And we are here for a higher purpose: General Grievous, Kenobi's only worthy adversary and leader of the Separatist army, is cornered. He has battle droids, but those are easily desposed of. He has supporters here, but we have outwitted entire cells of Separatists before. That should prove to be a small obstacle.

We are here because Grievous is cornered and we must ensure that he remains so.

                                                               *****

"Execute Order 66."

Order 66: Under orders from the Supreme Chancellor alone, you are to target and kill all Jedi under your jurisdiction.

There is no time for loyalty or insubordination, only action, but the conscience I do not possess is seared by that command.

"It will be done, my lord," Commander Cody responds flatly, without question or hesitation.

I must not hesitate either.

My hand seizes the missile launcher before the hologram is even deactivated and I am running, pushing past the others to drop to one knee.

I never miss my target. I am the surest shot this batallion has and they do not question that I will get the job done. They do not send a reinforcement or a backup marksman because they will not need one.

I never miss. I squint down the barrel, taking careful aim as my heart pounds and my hands tremble for the first time I can remember.

Is this what fear feels like?

I fire.

From this distance, no one can tell that I aimed low, shooting to disable at worst and provide an escape route at best. They only see the explosion and the two 'corpses' plummeting towards the water-filled basin.

"No one could survive that fall," Cody diagnoses grimly. "Move out."

No one could survive, but Kenobi has survived worse.

I never miss my target, but my General was not it.

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Kathryn Olsen, 31, is a published essayist and sometimes satirist from the Greater Boston area.  She currently resides in Provo, UT, where she is finishing a BA in Literature with a minor in Spanish language.  She is also the author of the blog "Novel-ties," which can be found at novel-ties.blogspot.com, and is an annual contributor to the Life, The Universe and Everything Symposium (www.ltue.org).

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May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  Please visit our link,

Warning Signs of Brain Cancer 
that Survivors Want You to Know

At our sponsor site: GBM4cure

Thank you for visiting!  We'd love to start this mini-mag up again someday, and comments and submissions are always welcome.  Our contributors write for us at no charge.  If you like them, please pay them a visit!  If you have questions or a submission, email gbm4cure@gmail.com.

Thursday's Truffle is...Hobbies!

AMATEUR ASTRONOMY ON A BUDGET 

by Michael W. Lewis

Several years ago I met Ms. Jennifer Barlow at an astronomy event. She started what became National Dark Sky Week. I realized two things as I listened to her talk about the night sky. First, that she made a contribution to the study of astronomy, and at a young age, and second, I grew up in a place with a wonderful view of the night sky without excess light. Ms. Barlow reminded people that the night sky was a resource that needed preservation for future generations--the same night sky that many people studied as astronomy grew from an amateur pursuit to one of our many sciences today. Under a night sky without excess light, many people witnessed the wonder of the universe for thousands of years. Ms. Barlow reminded people that future generations needed this connection with our wonderful universe.

Although it sounds like a subject for a PhD dissertation, astronomy is just as accessible to the average person now as it was during ancient times.  I became involved with my local astronomy group several years ago. Nothing has thrilled me more than the first time I saw sun spots safely through a telescope!

 Sunspot

To start with, consider what you are looking for in the sky. This seems like a simple a question at first, until you look at the choices of equipment and the parts of the electromagnetic spectrum available to you on the surface of Earth. Then there is the question of how much money and time you intend to spend on astronomy.

Look up into the sky during the day and during the night. What do you see with your naked eye? Is there anything that interests you? Is there anything you would like to see more clearly? This is how astronomy often starts as a hobby.

Planets, moons, stars, galaxies, comets, asteroids, meteors, nebulae and other objects are visible in the sky from Earth. Let’s say, for example, you view objects with the naked eye at night in a dark area. With a star chart of the night sky, you can start with strong field binoculars to observe many objects, except the sun. Once you can find many objects in the night sky, you can move up to your first telescope. There are refracting, reflecting, Dobsonian, and Schmidt-Cassegrain telescopes. The refracting telescopes use lenses to form an image in an eyepiece. The Galilean telescope is a version of refracting telescope. The refracting telescope is old-school observation with lenses.  One caveat here:   As lenses get heaver for larger telescopes, they actually bend under their own weight.   This can create errors in the images you see when using a refracting telescope.

The Schmidt-Cassegrain telescopes use mirrors and lenses to form an image in an eyepiece, with error correction for the images you observe. Let’s say that you have an interest in sun spots. A Schmidt-Cassegrain with a solar filter is a good and safe choice for this type of observation during the day. A good tripod for your telescope adds to the price; however it adds to the ease and accuracy of observation as well.

Reflecting telescopes, invented by Sir Isaac Newton, use mirrors to form an image in an eyepiece. The Dobsonian, as in John Lowry Dobson, telescopes are a version of reflecting telescope. The Dobsonian is a good choice for observation in dark areas; it collects a lot of light at low magnifications. With a Dobsonian, you can view Jupiter and the four largest Jovian Moons, or other faint objects like nebulae.   (I decided to switch the order of these two paragraphs so the discussion of errors in the images wouldn't be separated by the reflecting telescope paragraph.)

 Jupiter

Astrophotography adds camera technology to the hobby of astronomy. You can go one of two ways with this. You can use the telescope as a telephoto lens for your camera; you need an equatorial telescope mount and a clock drive for this. (A clock drive moves the telescope and camera as the object moves.)  Or you can use the telescope and tripod to find the object you want to photograph, with a camera and telephoto lens on top of the telescope, and then track the object as it moves through the sky with a clock drive.  You need a camera that gives you control over the exposure time, and a telephoto lens. The camera and the telescope point to the same object during the exposure time. This gives you two different hobbies for the price of one!   But it tends to be two expensive hobbies for the price of one. Good cameras, good telescopes, good clock drives, and good tripods are necessary for astrophotography.

If you climb mountains, you may also enjoy infrared astronomy. With infrared equipment, you may detect objects that are too cold to emit light in the visible part of the electromagnetic spectrum. If you get access to a professional infrared telescope, you may witness evidence of methane gas on Mars.

 NASA Infrared Telescope Facility, Hawaii

  
It helps if you find a local astronomy group in your area. The Astronomical League (Astronomical League National Headquarters, 9201 Ward Parkway; Suite 100, Kansas City, MO 64114, 1.816.333.7759, www.astroleague.org) can help you find a local group. They may have sky watches or star parties that you can attend, where you can observe objects with equipment that you do not have or cannot afford. There may be members of the club who make their own equipment, who can show you how to do this for yourself. The idea is to get the best optics and mirrors you can afford for your telescope. There may be second hand equipment available from club members at an affordable price. 

You can find a local amateur radio astronomy club in your area through the Society of Amateur Astronomers (http://www.radio-astronomy.org/). They also have information about radio astronomical hardware and software on their website, so you can get a telescope setup for radio astronomy if that is something that interests you. 

What is radio astronomy?  Stars, planets, galaxies, nebulae and other objects produce radio waves as well as light waves. Radio telescopes are used for the detection of these radio waves. Like other astronomers on Earth, radio astronomers are fond of places with low levels of interference in the part of the electromagnetic spectrum that they observe. In this case the interference is produced by humans in the form of radio waves from transmitters.  Do you remember the movie Contact? Jodie Foster plays Carl Sagan's fictional character Eleanor Arroway. In at least one scene she listens to signals from space through headphones, with a series of radio telescope dishes outside behind her. You do need that much equipment to have a radio telescope. 

 Radiotelescopes

Start with observation with your naked eye, during the day or night, of objects except the sun as often as you like. This is the cheapest way. Next you can purchase a star chart for a few US dollars. After you can find many objects in the night sky, you can purchase a pair of binoculars. Remember to purchase good lenses for observation. Cheap instruments may mean cheap lenses and/or mirrors. You may get a good pair for $100 US or more. From there you may move up to your first telescope. A Dobsonian telescope allows a good view of the planets and some larger moons in our solar system, to faint objects in the night sky. At least one brand comes with a base in which the telescope sits. You can move the telescope around in a circle, aim it higher, or aim it lower easily. You may build your own or purchase one for under $1000 US. A two-inch wide eyepiece is a nice addition to the telescope. Expect a price of at least $200 US for this item.

You may want another telescope like a Schmidt-Cassegrain. A tripod or other type of mount is necessary for this type of telescope. Purchase with the goal of getting good quality lenses, good quality mirrors, and a good quality tripod. Also, a good quality solar filter for sun spot observation, if you like, is a safe way to go at this point. When you consider a motorized clock drive or a computer goto system, again, your goal is to get good quality equipment. (A goto system is used to move your telescope to view an object automatically. This is handy for a quick view of a faint object.) Consider a 12-volt car battery for your clock drive as well. Costs here vary depending on brands of equipment and types of equipment. Expect a price over $1000 to $2000 US at least for only the telescope. Prices for a tripod, clock drive, and other accessories vary by brand and quality.

Before you move up from a Dobsonian telescope, visit a sky watch, star party, or International Astronomy Day event. Look at some telescopes and talk to some people about what to buy and what a fair price is. Shop for a while first before you buy.

If you want to purchase a camera for astrophotography, then you should visit a few camera shops. Talk to some photographers before you buy a camera and telephoto lens. Consider use of a film or digital camera with your telescope as the telephoto lens vs. a camera and telephoto lens attached to a sighting telescope. You goal here is to get good quality lenses.

Amateur radio operators know a good deal about radios; they need a good deal of knowledge to pass the exams for their radio license(s). Ask a local ham radio operator about equipment and antennas for radio astronomy. The American Radio Relay League (http://www.arrl.org/) has information on local ham radio clubs in your area. Safe and legal setup and operation of antennas and radios is a good thing here, and can be tricky. You can get away from interference to radio astronomy better when you know what the sources of possible interference are, and you can operate your radio equipment in harmony with other radio equipment in your area, when you learn the proper way to operate radio equipment. A ham radio operator can help you with this. Combine this with contact with other amateur radio astronomy enthusiasts for a good background in radio astronomy as a hobby.

The Radio JOVE Project(http://radiojove.gsfc.nasa.gov/) has some information on the RJ 1.1 Radio Telescope Kit (http://radiojove.gsfc.nasa.gov/telescope/) that you can purchase. Also the Society of Amateur Radio Astronomers has information on monitors and kits you can put together or purchase (http://www.radio-astronomy.org/node/142). Some radio astronomers work on projects that you can get information on through SARA.

Radio Astronomy Supplies (Radio Astronomy Supplies, P.O. Box 116, Sanger, Texas 76266 USA,  940.458.7447 http://www.radioastronomysupplies.com/) has some books, CDs, software and equipment for sale. Expect equipment prices from $100 US to over $1000 US for some items. Understand that a radio astronomy telescope may include at least: an antenna or dish, some equipment to hold and move the antenna or dish, a radio receiver, a low noise amplifier, a filter, and computer software that may require Linux or Windows/VISTA operating system running on a computer.  

You can start with casual observation of objects when you feel like it. You can make a commitment to spend more time with observation of objects in general, or specific objects. You can amuse yourself, or make contributions to science through astronomy. It's all up to you.

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We here at GBM4cure want to thank Mike Lewis for a lot of hard work on a very cool post.  Michael W. Lewis works part time and attends college part time, when he can.  He is finishing an Associate's Degree in Information Systems Technology.  Astronomy is his favorite hobby.  He also enjoys computer programming, repairing computers, electronic music, and playing chess.

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May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  Please visit our link,

Warning Signs of Brain Cancer 
that Survivors Want You to Know

At our sponsor site: GBM4cure

Thank you for visiting!  We'd love to start this mini-mag up again someday, and comments and submissions are always welcome.  Our contributors write for us at no charge.  If you like them, please pay them a visit!  If you have questions or a submission, email gbm4cure@gmail.com.

 

Tuesday's Truffle is...Short Fiction! (With a little bonus artwork.)

Keeping Safe

By Sandra Yuen MacKay

The laughter of children playing tag in the yard drew attention from the adults within the house. The owner, an old lady, had invited the neighbors to celebrate the birthday of one of the children. 

"Kids, keep it down. We can’t hear ourselves think,” called one of the mothers. For the next two minutes the noise dropped, then became louder than before.

"Come on inside and quiet down. You can go out later,” said the old lady.

The children moaned in unison. The three boys chased the girl into the house. Giggling, they ran into the sitting room and accidentally knocked a box off a table onto the floor. Jewelry spilt out. The old, grey-haired lady dropped down onto the carpet to rescue a gold chain. She kissed it and then held it to her breast, ignoring the other items still on the floor.

"Is it valuable?" asked one of the boys.

The old lady struggled to her feet. She wiped away the slow tears appearing on her face. "To me," she said. “I thought I lost it years ago.”

"Did it belong to somebody you loved?" the little girl asked.

The old woman shuffled to an armchair and sat down as if the weight of the world rested on her. “Sit down and I’ll tell you the story.” Immediately, the children clustered around her, kneeling on the carpet. Fascinated, they watched as the chain slipped in and out of her arthritic fingers, catching the light. "It reminds me of a day I can never forget. It was the day my five-year-old son gave me his favorite teddy bear to look after. He made it special by making it wear this gold chain. We lived in a small town on the coast. A quiet place with a lighthouse, a church and graveyard next to our house--” 

***

The door slammed. I looked up from ironing to see Thomas watching me. “Please mom, could you keep my teddy bear safe while I go out to play?”

I nodded, placed the bear on the table in the kitchen, and returned to my housework. Outside, the old swing squeaked as he propelled himself back and forth. It was hotter than usual.  After a while, I called to him, “Would you like something to drink?”

“Yes. Can I bring my friend too?”

I saw an unfamiliar, slight, red-haired girl standing next to him in the yard. With a wave, I invited them in.  Full of laughter, they ran into the kitchen to each have a glass of lemonade. I asked the girl her name and where she lived, but she just smiled shyly and giggled. She seemed harmless enough. A sweet and honest girl. I smiled at their merriment, remembering my own summers as a kid. From outside came the jingle of an ice cream truck.

“How about an ice cream?" I asked. Thomas and his friend nodded eagerly. They took the money I gave them and made their way down the street. I watched them through the window as I continued to iron.

I saw Mrs. Fletcher busy at work in her rose garden. Sore from bending, she paused in her work to place a hand on her back as the two children passed. Thomas and his friend went to the parked ice cream truck and bought their ice cream. They ate the ice cream and dawdled back to the house. Meanwhile, I went upstairs to put away the clothes.

Minutes later, I heard a wail followed by scuffling and the loud bang of a door being slammed.

"Thomas," I shouted. "Where are you? Are you all right?" Horror-struck, I rushed downstairs, but the children were nowhere in sight. I checked the house and the yard. No one. Not a clue. Passing through the kitchen, I noticed that the chain around the neck of the teddy bear was missing. I felt cold chills run down my spine. The house filled with an eerie silence as if the dead had walked right through it.

From the porch, I shouted out to Mrs. Fletcher. "Have you seen Thomas and his friend go by?"

She looked puzzled by my question. "Only Thomas. Nobody else."

Afraid, I gave a great gasp and rushed up the street to question the ice cream man.  Perhaps he would know something. "There was only a boy on his own," he said. “I would have remembered a girl with red hair.” Distressed, I rushed back home and phoned my husband and the police. I alerted the neighbors. The police arrived at the same moment the phone rang. Startled, I picked up the phone to hear Mr. Fletcher’s deep voice. He said that when he arrived home from work, he saw Thomas enter the graveyard.

The police brought in two teams of police dogs to search the graveyard. They didn’t find Thomas, but discovered a gold chain hanging from a cross on a grave of a gypsy girl who'd died recently.


"I recall this case clearly. Five years old and killed in a car crash.” A policeman shook his head after reading the gravestone. The search continued for many weeks, but Thomas was never found. They found no more clues. He had completely vanished.

***

The old woman took the gold chain and placed it carefully around the neck of a moth-eaten teddy bear on the table. She wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffed.

"Was that the teddy bear?” asked one of the boys.

"Yes, dear," the old woman said. "It belonged to my Thomas. This is the first time I've hung the chain around its neck since he disappeared.”

“Kids, the food's ready. Come and get it!”  Immediately, the children jumped to their feet and raced out of the room to eat pizza, treats, and chocolate birthday cake.

One of the mothers came into the sitting room and handed the old lady a cup of tea. "I didn't want to interrupt while you were talking. But a boy came to the back door asking about his teddy bear.  Said he only gave it to you for safekeeping."

The End

Sandra Yuen MacKay is the author of My Schizophrenic Life: The Road to Recovery from Mental Illness and the scifi novella Hell's Fire. She also is an artist and resides in Vancouver, British Columbia. In 2012, she received the Courage to Come Back Award. Her website is: http://symackay.blogspot.com.

You can view a video about Sandra, her art, and her recovery here.
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May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  Please visit our link,

Warning Signs of Brain Cancer 
that Survivors Want You to Know

At our sponsor site: GBM4cure

Thank you for visiting!  We'd love to start this mini-mag up again someday, and comments and submissions are always welcome.  Our contributors write for us at no charge.  If you like them, please pay them a visit!  If you have questions or a submission, email gbm4cure@gmail.com.

Thursday's Truffle is....Stories of Hope and Inspiration!

Glioblastoma multiforme, the most aggressive brain tumor, is not very well known to the public.  Only about 22,000 people are diagnosed with it each year.  It is a devastating diagnosis, with a median survival of only about fourteen months.  Five year survival stories are extremely rare.  Today Debbie Moore, the founder of our parent website, GBM4cure, speaks with a remarkable woman who has defied the odds with this beast of a cancer for almost twelve years, and defied conventional medicine to do it.  Cheryl Broyles talks about her battle with one of the most deadly cancers known, and her husband talks with us after about his journey with Cheryl and their two children over the past twelve years.

     How did you first find out you had cancer?

I started having bad headaches.  I was 33 years old.  When I bent over to tie my shoe, it felt like my head would explode.  I went to the emergency room and they told me I just had a normal headache and sent me home with advice to take Tylenol.  Two weeks later the headache got worse and was never ending.  All I could do was hold my head and rock back and forth.  My husband took me to the emergency room again and they did a CAT scan.  It showed my brain was bleeding from what is called an AVM (arterio-venous malformation).  I went into brain surgery.  During surgery they found, hidden within the AVM, a grade 4 glioblastoma multiforme.  They told me I had less than a year to live. 

    Where was your tumor located?

The GBM was located in my left temporal lobe.

    What treatments have you had for your cancer?  What was your initial treatment experience like?

When diagnosed in June 2000 I had brain surgery (100% resection) and radiation (at OHSU in Portland OR).  I chose to not take chemo at that time because they said it would only add 3 months to my life. Temodar was not FDA approved at that time and the chemo available (BCNU) was harsh and destructive on your body.  I decided to take a more “natural” way.  I did everything I could to boost my own immune system: eat organic, eat good healthy foods, exercise, simplify life, sleep well, take many supplements, and lean on God for strength.  My two boys were only 1 and 3 years old, so I was VERY motivated to survive and thrive.  I felt positive and filled with hope!

   Were you part of any clinical trials, or were you told about any at all?

I was told only about the clinical trials available at UCSF where my neuro-oncologist is located.  Doctors only “know about” and focus on the clinical trials at their hospital.  If you want to learn about all of the clinical trials available, you need to be your own advocate.  A great place to find information on clinical trials for brain tumors is at www.virtualtrials.com.  I was involved with a radiation clinical trial at UCSF called HBoc where they injected me with cow hemoglobin then gave me 100% oxygen during the radiation.  I had an allergic reaction and was removed from the clinical trial.

   How many recurrences did you have and when did you have them?  How were your recurrences treated?

As of Oct. 2011 I’ve had 3 recurrences.  

*  July 2004 the GBM came back on the perimeter of the tumor cavity.  I had “awake” surgery with Dr. Berger at UCSF, 100% seen tumor resection; then went on Temodar for 1.5 years.  

*  Feb 2007 the GBM came back again on the perimeter of the tumor cavity. Again “awake” surgery with Dr. Berger, 100% seen tumor resection; then went back on Temodar for two years.  

*  Feb 2009 the GBM came back in my meninges (the tissue that covers your brain).  Surgery again with Dr. Berger, 100% seen resection.  I chose to not go back on Temodar since the tumor grew while I was on it.  My post surgery MRI looked beautifully clear, so I chose again to focus on boosting my own immune system knowing my good healthy cells outnumbered my few cancer cells.

  What part about all this was the toughest?  What were the biggest challenges you faced in the early days post diagnosis? Did you ever feel like you “hit bottom emotionally”?  What got you through it?  How do you get the support you need?

The toughest and most challenging part when I was first diagnosed were two things:  I was a mommy of two little boys, 1 and 3 years old.  They needed mommy.  My fear of leaving my husband Matt as a single dad was the other.  Also, it was a challenge going through brain surgery and then radiation while taking care of two boys while my husband was at work!  The second hardest thing was giving up my “job”.  I am a wildlife biologist, was working full time and loved my job.  I made ½ of our family income.   It was hard admitting that I could not effectively complete that work anymore, with the deficits after my diagnosis.  It was hard figuring out how to live on ½ of the money we were used to.  It was hard giving up what I felt was my “identity” as a wildlife biologist, to a brain cancer patient.  What got me through it was my personal relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ.  Delving into God’s Word, the Bible filled me with peace and hope.  Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”   SO TRUE.

  Did you have health insurance? Was it adequate to cover your treatments? If not, have you had financial hardship and how have you handled that?

I had/have health insurance through Blue Cross / Blue Shield.  They have been great at covering all treatments.  Then, after a year I was blessed to be covered by Medicare.  Between the two of them (primary and secondary health insurance), we are very well covered. 

  Did you make lifestyle changes after diagnosis (food, exercise, other?)  Do you do any "alternative" treatments along with western meds?

I completely changed my lifestyle after being diagnosed with the GBM.  Albert Einstein’s definition of “insanity” cried out in my mind: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  I figured, if my past lifestyle led to cancer, I did not want to be insane and live it over again, expecting a different result!!!  So I started eating organic, eating healthy food with no preservatives or additives!  I started exercising 5 days a week.  I did all I could to simplify life and have more time to relax and laugh.  I made sure I slept 8 hours each night.  I started taking many supplements to boost my own immune system.  I started each day in prayer to my Lord, then delved into the Bible.  My life changed in many, many good ways.  I felt healthier and was at peace.

  Do you live with deficits from having brain tumors and treatments? Have you learned how to compensate and overcome the deficits you live with?

My GBM was located in my left temporal lobe which controls language/speech and memory.  So my greatest deficit is loss of words (nouns) and a harder time understanding what people are saying.  That is a topic that can take a book in itself.  Yes, I have learned more on how to compensate, but mostly I needed to accept my new “self” and not expect to get “normal” again.  After each of my 4 brain surgeries, I worked hard to get my language fluent again.  I was told reading out loud to yourself is a big step in getting your brain running again with language.  My memory is very bad too.  I’ve come to love yellow stickies and small note pads, which I use constantly! 

  What gave you hope that you can beat the statistics?  Was there a moment or point in time (and what were you doing) when you realized you might defy those statistics?  Did you start out pretty much hopeless and then  realize things weren’t turning out that way after all, or did you always  know you were going to beat your cancer?

What gave me hope for beating the statistics was the statistics class I took in college!  I know how numbers work in math and predictions.  The doctors tell you the “averages” in terms of life expectancy.  But there are tails at the end of the statistics “bell curves”.  I knew there must mathematically be long term survivors out there, and I was determined to be one!  From day one, I never knew how many days I had to live.  But I was determined to not think about the future.  I wanted to give my all into living healthy and enjoying each second.  I was not going to let the cancer win; I was going to love life!   I love the saying; “You are what you think you are”.  So daily I told myself I was happy and healthy!

  What was the most important advice you were given throughout this journey?

The most important advice I was given that held me together and gave me strength through this brain tumor battle is from my Lord Himself.  Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” 

  Any good tips you can give newly diagnosed patients that will help them through the standard treatments—surgery, radiation, and chemo?

I’ve learned so many things over the last 11 years, many from trial & error, and some from advice from survivors.  There are too many to list.  Here are a few.  Get off Decadron as soon as you can!  Ionic Magnesium Citrate works well for constipation!  Have patients to recover after surgery, takes months. Exercise and keeping active helps hold back depression and fatigue.  While on chemo, sit a gallon of water on your kitchen counter and drink lots during the day to stay hydrated, you will feel MUCH better on chemo.  Keep your brain active too (if you don’t use it you lose it!), so work on puzzles, read books out loud, paint/color, anything that keeps your brain working!  Get enough sleep, but not too much.  The more you lie around, the worse you feel!  Connect with other brain tumor survivors to encourage each other.

  Do you have any favorite charity that you recommend donations be sent  to?

The Musella Foundation is GREAT.  They put so much effort into funding research for brain tumors and have wonderful internet support groups. www.virtualtrials.com

  Were you or are you still involved with any support groups? Were you able to find any local support groups specifically for brain cancer?

I was not able to find any local support groups for brain cancer unfortunately.  Over the internet I have found many wonderful support groups.  Some over emails, like “BRAINTMR”, “Brain Research”, “Braintumor Treatments”.  Also on Facebook there are some great support groups like Glioblastoma Support group, and other groups called Brain Cancer Survivors, Brain Tumor Family, etc.

  Next Debbie spoke with Cheryl's husband, Matt.

  How did you first hear that Cheryl had cancer?

Immediately after surgery to remove what we thought was just a leaky AVM (arterio-venous malformation) the surgeon told me that he had removed “a mass” from the surgical site in Cheryl’s brain.  Later she found out over the phone it was a glioblastoma multiforme. I was returning to my office from fighting a wildfire and she called me and I could hear fear, anger, and panic in her voice when she told me “Come home.  I have just been diagnosed with a GBM!!” She had been studying up on tumor types on the internet and she knew the typical prognosis for GBM patients.  She was freaked out.  I was able to hold it together for the drive home but I freaked out too when I got home.

  What part about all this was the toughest?  What were the biggest challenges you faced in the early days post diagnosis? Did you ever feel like  you “hit bottom emotionally”?  What got you through it?  How do you get the support you need?

Some of the biggest challenges early on were the games my own head played with me.   Like what I call the “Is this the last time?” game.  Is this the last time we will celebrate Christmas as a family?   Is this the last time Cheryl will go camping?  Is this the last time we will make love?  etc.   That game is really insidious because it puts a damper even on the most fun/enjoyable activities/events.  It throws a wet blanket over the whole experience.    Another challenge was the way Cheryl reacted to the medications (steroids) she was on after each of her surgeries.  The steroids make her very angry, mean, unforgiving, and just about impossible to live with.  In many ways it was as if the person I loved and married was gone.   I think I bottomed out twice. Once after surgery #2 and another time after #3.  When things got bad and I needed to vent I would sit up late at night at the computer writing a journal to nobody in particular,  just expressing how I thought things were going at the time with our relationship, my fears and doubts and complaints about the situation.  When I look back at it now it is really scary how far beaten down I was emotionally back then.  I would have a thought or feeling, and then verbally beat on myself for having it.  Nobody has ever seen the stuff I wrote except me.  There is stuff in there that is toxic and would not have been fit to share with anybody—especially Cheryl.   I got through this hard time because of my faith in God. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and he helped (and still helps) me through the darkest of days.  I don’t know how non-believers get through this.  Because Cheryl is doing so well, I don’t feel like I have seen the hardest part of the challenge that this disease brings to patients and caregivers.  I hope and pray I never do.  But if things go badly, I know that Jesus will be with me through every minute of it.

  Were you affected by any financial hardships due to Cheryl's medical expenses, loss of income from taking days off to be with her, etc and how have you handled that?

The biggest financial hit came when Cheryl took early retirement from her job. She was making a little more than I was at the time and we ended up selling a house on acreage that was really a special place to both of us.  We just could not make the payments without her working. And, with her future so uncertain we felt the need to simplify life by moving from the country place to a small house in town.  Social Security disability benefits help with the financial issues.  We have really good primary health insurance (Blue Cross) through my work, and Cheryl is qualified for Medicare coverage which helps too, but we still have medical expenses that are not covered by insurance—like dietary supplements. Family members have helped out some financially with generous gifts when Cheryl has had to have surgery.  They helped cover living expenses when we were down in San Francisco for extended periods for her surgeries.

  Did you make lifestyle changes after diagnosis (food, exercise, career, other?)

Cheryl stopped working.  I kept working.  We started eating more organic foods as a family and Cheryl started in on an elaborate mix of dietary supplements and started to exercise vigorously.  We came to really appreciate the value of time and family time in particular.  We are always doing things together as a family. Travel, camping, boating, hunting, fishing, hiking, etc.  We are by far the busiest family we know.   We don’t waste time just sitting around the house.

  Have you made any compensation for what she can no longer do?  How have your learned to compensate and overcome her deficits?

Not really. We are very blessed in that Cheryl is so functional.  She drives, uses the computer, pays bills, cooks, cleans, back packs, rides a bike, sets her own appointments with the doctors, etc.  She has essentially no deficits that the average person would detect when interacting with her.  I really don’t consider myself a “caregiver”.  She can take care of herself.  I do step in and help with tasks that are language intensive… reading mail from the insurance companies, talking to sales people on the phone for her, filling in words for her when she is at a loss for “nouns”, etc.   Her deficits are language-related, so that is where I can really help.   Even though she is so high functioning, and can do all those things, she gets mentally fatigued very quickly if she has to speak or listen for an extended length of time.  Cheryl recently underwent an extensive examination by a neuropsychologist who specializes in brain injury and loss of function.  The results of that testing confirmed some things we already knew about her deficits, and showed me some functional areas where things were a little worse than I thought they were.  It is a great way to gain insight into tasks/functions that a patient can use some help with. I wish we had done it 5 years ago.

  What gave you hope that she could beat the statistics?  Was there a moment or point in time (and what were you doing) when you realized she might defy those statistics?  Did you start out pretty much hopeless and then realize things weren’t turning out that way after all, or did you always know she was going to beat this cancer?

STATISTICS APPLY TO POPULATIONS, NOT INDIVIDUALS. KEEP HOPE ALIVE!  EVERY PATIENT IS AN INDIVIDUAL AND THEIR TUMOR IS UNIQUE.  Everyone who knew Cheryl at the time of her diagnosis knew that “That tumor picked the wrong head to show up in!”  Cheryl is about the most stubborn person I have ever met and she is known as quite a fighter.  I knew that if anybody could beat the odds it was her.  The problem early on was that we didn’t know that it was really possible to beat the odds and live as long as she has.  Getting connected with long term survivors made a huge difference.   With our science backgrounds we understand the concepts of bell curves and statistics.  We knew logically that there had to be people way out there on the long term tail of the survival bell curve, but  how far out the tail extended (or didn’t extend) was a little scary. Emotionally it was really important to verify that the curve extended out past 10 years and there were actually folks out that far, by actually finding and interacting with those folks.    For me, things were pretty rough at the start, but as she did well things got easier. The recurrences were setbacks, of course.   But after surgery #4 when the tumor was just a little chunk of glial matter on the inside of the dura, and not in the brain itself, I began to allow myself to occasionally think that she might actually beat this thing. 

  What was the most important advice you were given throughout this journey?

The most important advice was:   Trust in God.  To keep hope alive, seek out the best doctors and treatment centers.  And to not make life altering decisions until circumstances forced us to. “Don’t trouble Trouble until Trouble troubles you.”  

  Any good tips you can give caregivers of the newly diagnosed that will help them through the standard treatments—surgery, radiation, and chemo?

See #7 above.   Also, be patient with your loved one.  They will be going through terrible things physically and emotionally.  They may seem like a whole different person when under the influence of the drugs and treatments.  If you know it is coming, you may be able to handle it better.   You will be going through this together, on parallel tracks, but your journey as a caregiver is a different journey than that of the patient.  You will have some of the same fears and concerns as the patient, but you will also probably have some that are different based on the thought of how you will cope/live/get by if the patient passes on.  Think of you and your loved one as walking down a 2 track country road, holding hands, one walking in each tire rut.  You are taking the journey together, but the potholes and mud holes are not always the same in each rut.  As you travel along, sometimes there is a rock or mud hole in one rut but not the other. Thus your experiences of the journey are not identical. You will probably think and feel things that you want to express/vent, but some of that stuff will probably not be helpful for the patient to hear.  Only share the supportive things.  Try not to burden the patient with too much of your own junk…find another outlet for the really toxic stuff.  It is important for your relationship to be honest and open for the most part, but I found that there were things that I was feeling/thinking that were just not going to be good or helpful, or loving, or useful to share with Cheryl.

  Were your or are you still involved with any caregiver support groups?   Were you able to find brain cancer specific groups near you?

No, not involved in any internet support groups. There are no brain tumor support groups in our local town. Probably would not go anyway.  Talking about all this is like picking a scab off a wound.   It “lets the monster out of the cage” and I don’t find it helpful.  But that’s just me.  Others might find it very helpful.

 
  Do you have any favorite charity that you recommend donations be sent to?

The Musella Foundation.  




About the contributors:  

Cheryl Broyles maintains an active web presence, corresponding with other victims of GBM to share advice and hope.  As of summer 2013 she has suffered her fifth recurrence of GBM, undergone a fifth brain surgery, and continues to do very well.  She has written a book about her experiences, which you can purchase at her website, here.

Debbie Moore is a wife, mother and grandmother who recently lost her father to Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM).  It was during the 6 month battle with this disease that Debbie and her family realized how little information and resources are available for this particular type of brain cancer.  From this discovery, she has made it her mission to bring awareness and resources to those who are newly diagnosed, by starting an organization that will develop support groups, informational websites, fundraising events and awareness products.  That organization is our sponsoring website, GBM4cure.



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May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  Please visit our link,

Warning Signs of Brain Cancer 
that Survivors Want You to Know

At our sponsor site: GBM4cure

Thank you for visiting!  We'd love to start this mini-mag up again someday, and comments and submissions are always welcome.  Our contributors write for us at no charge.  If you like them, please pay them a visit!  If you have questions or a submission, email gbm4cure@gmail.com.